Reformed Grits

Made for the garden
February 7, 2007, 12:45 am
Filed under: Food and Drink, Life

I don’t like to shop.  I really don’t.  If I have money, I never find anything to spend it on.  If I’m broke I see a million things I’d love to have.  But lately it’s just depressing to shop because I can’t fit in into anything.  I can honestly relate to Shannon when she says, "I’m an oval."  Me too!  I am built like my grandmother… big up top, thick waist, and small hips.  If it weren’t for the 7 pregnancies, I might have a memory of my waist.  I never had a tiny one.  Well, I say that but looking back now I’d do anything to have that waist compared to the slab o’ biscuit dough I’ve got now. 

This winter I have lived in "mom jeans" and sweatshirts.  Mostly Mr. Grits’s sweatshirts.  (Ok, so I haven’t stooped to mom jeans but I have been buying jeans at the thrift store because I don’t want to spend good money on clothes this particular size.)  I wouldn’t even mind the size if it weren’t for the roll-over on top.  I have a muffin top. 

So I was looking online trying to fine something decent to wear besides the ONE dress shirt I have (dresses don’t work too well when you are nursing) and it was horrible because everywhere I look, even the "plus size" sites to fit my um, er,  nursing equipment, they put little skinny models in the clothes and they are looking right at the camera as if to say, "You don’t think this would actually look good on you, do you?"  I hate them all.   Not to mention that the cute stuff that would detract from the fact that I am indeed an oval is SOOO expensive!  I just don’t see ME wearing a $129 shirt anywhere for fear of Bee Barf.  (I mean, spit up.) 

Moving on, I thought I’d at least try to buy a new pair of shoes.  And don’t get me started on shoes.  I know it’s hard to believe, but I have 6 pair of shoes.  Yes, I do.  Black and brown casual for winter; black and brown sandals for summer; black boots, and tennis shoes.  That’s it!  And my feet hurt ALL the time because of the extra weight and because of the fact that they have spread with each pregnancy.  My nice 7 1/2 shoe size has morphed into a 8 1/2 Extra Wide.  I have man feet.  So I googled "podiatrist recommended shoes" and eventually came to a site that prides itself on being good for your feet.  AH!  Now we are talking.  Until, WHOA NELLY, these shoes are like $235 each!  What the heck?  Who buys shoes like that? 

So I give up.  I really was made for the garden.  Of Eden, that is.  Walking around without need of clothes or shoes.  Just a happy oval without a thought of muffin tops or mom jeans.         

8 Comments so far
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Ha! Mom Jeans…I actually have a couple of pairs of those that I STILL wear on my comfy days. Those are right up there with my go-to grey sweatsuit. No shame.

Comment by Gayle

Oh Dear, I can relate! I just today went on my suicide diet. Well, the altered version. I don’t want to take my (7 mo) girl on the starvation train with me. I have got to get some of this weight off. I don’t even want to think about clothes. I bought 2 pair of black yoga pants at Old Navy during their clearance sale. So that is what I’m living in right now. I am soooo sexy, I tell you. I would love to blame all this weight on my pregnancies, but I gained some weight before I even got pg with number 1. I wish it were as easy to get off as it was to put on!

Comment by Polly

Oval meet Pear!

Right there with you. Although with this sickness I have lost some weight. I wouldn’t recommend this diet to anyone.

Back to bed.

Comment by Caroline

At 8 months pregnant, I would look pretty scary in the garden of eden right now! But, I am officially running out of clothes that fit, and I have this huge mounting fear of what I’m going to do when summer rolls around and I have to put on a swimsuit!
BTW, you look awesome and I still can’t tell you’ve gain weight ( the “top” area. But hey, that’s not bad!).

Comment by penny

I feel your pain girl! I too have a muffin top. It looks so gross! I don’t even eat muffins that often!!!
But even worse…I have cellulite from head to toe! I am going to have to wear a wet suit to the pool to hide it all.
I wish I would just get prego, so I could have an excuse to be fat!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and did I mention…I am married to Mr. workout king! He’s always trying to get me to “workout”! Yeah, like I really want to sweat on purpose!

Comment by Andrea

I used to have narrow feet and oh my goodness where shoes hard to find and expensive! Fortunately I don’t have this problem anymore. I do have the well endowed on top problem and it is hard to find tops that are professional for the classroom and not dry clean only. Oh and made for a teacher’s budget and not old ladyish…is that too much to ask?

Comment by Jane

Someone just told me about Dansko shoes. I looked them up at zappos and they’re around $100. My feet hurt, too, but less now that I’m pregnant. Go figure. Speaking of… my figure is just plain wierd now. Only 10 weeks preg., but already I look 5 mos… as if my muscles are saying, “just forget it.”

Oh, and I just watched that Mom jeans thing! LOL!! I hate those high waisted jeans… they have to sit down lower, but that’s why we have the muffin top, I guess. The mom jeans might solve that problem.

One more thing: HELLO, it’s THURSDAY!!!
Where’s the limerick?!

My friend, you have let me down
I rushed home from my day in town.
To read a great poem
I’d pay a big coin
but here there is none to be found!!

Comment by Meg

A friend’s husband named that roll-over-the-top or muffin-top look with an absolutely hysterical name: He would say “well she looks like a busted-can-o’-biscuits!” HA!

Comment by Kelly

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