Reformed Grits

Little limerick tension breaker
April 30, 2008, 11:02 pm
Filed under: Limerick Thursday

I need a limerick to make me chill out.  A little stress going on around here. 

This job will likely kill me
And someone will have to change Bee!
She smells like a skunk–
I love that wee punk!
From ‘Bama I’d like to soon flee…


It’s night time and oh I do yawn.
My brain is so very long gone. 
I want to go sleep
The laundry will keep
Tomorrow I’ll play with my spawn. 

Heh heh heh


This will fatten you up a bit
April 29, 2008, 12:07 pm
Filed under: Food and Drink

Last June, I mentioned that my kids won first place in a church contest for their banana pudding (I feel the need to say puddin’) and I thought since spring is here and summer’s a’comin’ you might like to have it just in case you need one.  I must give you a little background on where this recipe came from.  In coming up with the recipe for the contest, they looked over a number of recipes for banana pudding in magazines (mostly Southern Living) and cookbooks, and we talked about what in the recipe made it good or bad, whether it was using milk vs. cream vs. half and half; lots of butter or not; meringue vs. whipped cream vs. cool whip; flour to thicken or cornstarch, etc.  It was really educational and fun.  In the end, they decided on these ingredients and proportions, and lemme tell you, they work.  My butt gets bigger (and rounder) just putting the ingredients in the buggy at the store.

Grits’ Kids Banana Puddin’
4 c. Half and half
4 egg yolks
1 1/2 c. sugar
1/4 t. salt
1/3 c. flour
3 T. butter
1 T. pure vanilla extract
4 large, ripe bananas– sliced  (We dip ours in lemon juice to prevent browning)
1- 12 oz. box ‘Nilla wafers
1 1/2 c. whipping cream
3 T. powdered sugar

1.  Heat the half and half, egg yolks, sugar, salt, and flour over low heat.  Stir constantly for 20 minutes or until thick.  (It usually takes at LEAST this long.)  Take off heat and add butter and vanilla. 
2.  In a trifle bowl, add half the cookies, half the bananas and half the pudding.  Repeat.  Refrigerate until cool. 
3.  Just before serving, whip whipping cream and powdered sugar until it’s stiff.  Spread over pudding.  4.  Call 911 cuz you are about to have a heart attack. 

P.S.  Don’t even think about stealing this recipe if we have another dessert contest at our church.  😉

I (should) have issues
April 24, 2008, 10:44 pm
Filed under: I plead ignorance

A friend of mine has a private blog where she was laughing about being a Polynesian child in a play when she was young… but she is fair skinned with very blonde hair.  Her mom dyed her hair black– or tried to– and it turned green. 
That led me to start a very lengthy comment that I decided would be better served by just becoming a post where we can all laugh at me and my issues and I can get a little tension breaker from my flat buttness.   
When I was in school– I think like 7th grade– I was to portray a slave in the play Man Without A Country.  Made for interesting make-up since I also am fair with light brown hair and blue eyes.  I had to speak a line in Portuguese which is hilarious because with my natural anal tendencies, I’m sure I more tried to pronounce those words than just throw out some gibberish to sound like it was another language.  As if I needed to speak to those Portuguese people in the audience that night– they might need to understand, with my thick Southern accent, what I was saying… Something about "not seeing my family for ‘seis meses!’" or something.   
Another bizarre portrayal– somewhere we have pictures of me dressed up like an African native for Halloween after my grandparents, who were missionaries there, brought me the whole outfit/costume from there.  This is a picture you will never see on this blog as I think it’s horribly insulting for all the people of other races and it’s embarrassing from that standpoint.   Honestly, y’all, I’m not kidding when I say there was nothing ill meant about it other than my grandparents brought the costume right from Kenya and we just didn’t think anyone would "get it" if I didn’t shoe polish up my face.  And arms.  And feet.  At least I get it honest, folks.  Again, interesting make-up job, and why on earth did my parents think it would be a good idea for me to go trick-or-treating in downtown Birmingham in black-face?  I’m surprised I lived to tell the tale.  I think they were trying to get rid of me.  Someone should speak to my mom about this.  Really though, my dad used to tell me my real father was black– the problem with this not being that it was bad to be black or course; just that he was denying my parentage.  I really think I should get some therapy. 
I’m going to go suck my thumb now. 

Flat butt
April 24, 2008, 3:57 pm
Filed under: Life

I’m in my Flat Butt part of the year.  This is the part of the year when I’m firmly planted in a chair reviewing reports, balancing budgets, emailing families, working out accounts, going to the bank almost daily (sitting on my flat butt in the car), and basically just being thankful for a laptop so I can take it to the kitchen and work on stuff while the ground beef is defrosting for yet another version of tacos.  I’m also thankful for that small hiatus because in the kitchen I’m usually standing.
I know I’ve said it once, but I will say it again.  I want to CRY with gratitude when I think about Distybug who God (and the board of the school) sent to help me this year.  I’m working way more than normal this time of year, but unfathomably less than I would be if she weren’t around to help me.  (Picture tears welling up in my eyes, and my cold-stone heart quivering.)  Who knew that this year of all years we would be making year-end, first of year tuition including a new thing where fees are rolled in, PLUS TWO major fund raisers are all in the same month.  (Here come the tears again… oh boy.) 
Please, people, if you know a board member for a school– any school– thank them for the hard work they do.  It’s hard, thankless work.  And they do it for the love of the children.  (No, I am not on the board.  If they asked me I would roll on the floor and belly-laugh.) 
And a total shameless here, but if you have the ability and God puts in on your heart, would you give to the scholarship fund?  If you don’t know the school locally I work at that I love, then one around you that has a reputation for serving the Lord and reaching children who are in need.  There are children who may not get to return to the school if they do not get scholarships and that would be tragic.  With building funds and things like that going on, it is easy to overlook giving to scholarship funds but our school DOES have one and every cent is given based purely on genuine need.  An outside source evaluates families based on their income and gives us a report (I do not have anything to do with this; I just know how they do it) and then based on the school’s resources they distribute everything they have to families.  And let me tell you, it’s never enough.  The biggest blessing I have seen at our school is the families who "can’t" come that God opens a door for.  The faith of the children is increased, as well as the parents, and it is a beautiful thing.  Ok, I’m finished now. 
I’m really ready to get my flat butt to the pool.  But I have work to do.  I have to get it done before it opens. (Of course there will still be work to do, but you know what I mean.)

American Idol– results for 4/23
April 23, 2008, 9:03 pm
Filed under: Television

Wow, ok, so they haven’t shown the whole thing yet– just that Carly and Syesha are in the bottom two, but I am S H O C K E D that Brooke was safe.  And Jason for that matter.  What?? 
This show is weird…

And now the results…


Well, after last night I thought about it and realized Brooke was going to get the sympathy vote and wouldn’t go home.  Then I realized Jason would get the same thing from all the teeny-bopper girls.  So that left of course Syesha and Carly.  I figured Carly would lose that battle. 

American Idol Live Blogging!
April 22, 2008, 8:03 pm
Filed under: Television

Syesha:  Watching this I thought of Jennifer Hudson and how she’s gone on to get a Tony or whatever award for her acting and singing, etc.  And I thought yes, Syesha could do that too. She is personally not my show favorite even though she’s obviously talented just because she seems cocky and snotty.  Whatever.

  Ok, I really liked hearing him.  I love his voice and I’d buy his album for sure.  If I bought albums.  I mean, if they actually made albums anymore.  I think they make CDs.  Or DVD’s or something.  I dunno.  I’m in the dark ages.  But my point is, I liked this even though I did sit there listening and wondering, "This sounds like an old man should be singing it??"  It was musically a "yes" but lyrically a "no."  Go figure. 

What happened?  I am so uncomfortable watching her.  Oh dear, and I really like her.  I thought Paula made me cringe when she said "Don’t ever stop and start."  I wanted to cry for her.  And her looking at her husband like "Oh help me," and him looking back at her like "Oh honey I love you.  It’s ok."  But I loved what Simon said.  Who knew he had a gracious bone in his body.  That was actually kind for him to "come to her rescue."  Didn’t know he had it in him. 

David A:  Boring, repetetive song.  Even my girls who usually love staring at him when he’s on are running around the house screaming and horsing around.  But he’s not going anywhere.

Carly:  Ok, it was her.  Powerful, vibrant.  Really good.  I have a problem with the lyrics but hey, what do you expect from me, huh?  I mean, seriously, "Jesus Christ– Superstar???"  Give me a break.

David C:  Are you kidding me?  Is this the same guy?  Wow!!  He is so amazing!!!  I love his rocker stuff but this pure talent.   I’m blown away.  So multifaceted.  He really can sing ANYTHING. 

Who should go home?
  Based on the night, Brooke.  She paled in comparison to the others tonight.  Even Jason. 

Who will go home?
  Sadly, Brooke.  It’s time.  I really like her.  She’s folksy and cool and there’s a place for her but she’s out-talented at this point. 

Hiding from the washer
April 22, 2008, 10:23 am
Filed under: Weblogs

This is random, but the washer and dryer are going, Dora is on, and I just planted some flowers with Sugie in the pots out front, watered our tomato plants out back, and cut some roses to take to Grandma today so I thought I’d come in, return phone calls and check email…. when I found out I’d been tagged. 
Ok, mental break.  I can do this. 
Distybug tagged me for this:

I am supposed to share 7 random things about myself and then tag 7
people to do the same. I’d like to change it up a little though. Let’s
share 7 random things about our childhoods.

Well, ok, if you really wanna know…

1.  I used to be involved in public speaking, even as early as 3rd grade when I entered speech contests.  I won first in the school 2 years in a row, and earned the highest possible rank numerous times at state. 

2.  I can even actually still do "Little Orphant Annie" by James Whitcomb Riley by heart. 

3.  When I was little we lived in the projects.  Word.  We have a class picture of my sister in a Head Start type preschool class.  She’s the, um, pale one. 

4.   As a child, my dad was convinced that getting his pilot license would be a smart thing.  We flew a few times to see grandparents, etc.  Until that one night he almost killed himself and my sister by flying in a storm where he couldn’t see. And landing in an unattended airport.  In the dark.  In complete fog.    He was cured after that.

5.  I flew (in a REAL airplane with a REAL pilot) to California with my grandmother and sister visiting my aunt’s family and spent about 2 weeks when I was about 7.  We visited all the touristy places.  That’s a great memory. 

6.  I had horrible hair when I was a kid and frequently was called a boy.  My mother denies this, but that’s ok, mom.  Therapy will make it all better.

7.  Ok, this isn’t about my childhood, but something about me that is pretty obvious.  I love to travel.  I would be in a different location every week if I could. I just like being in a hotel (well, without kids interrupting my sleep.  If they sleep I don’t mind them.) or someone else’s home and eating out and seeing new and different things and experiencing different places– near and far.  Exotic or not.  I love it all.  I always wish Mr. Grits had a job where he had SOME traveling so I could occasionally go with him but actually it’s best that he’s home.  He really hates traveling for work so it’s just as well.  He’s a homebody, unless traveling for fun. 

Ok, now  you are ALL tagged.  Leave a comment telling me if you happen to do it so I can read yours.  I hate tagging specific folks who may not be interested.  If you want to, DO IT!  🙂  You too can avoid work.

Time to change the laundry.