Reformed Grits


Danged it I do, danged if I don’t
June 21, 2008, 11:32 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ok, so I have mentioned that one of my female children doesn't like to look nice.  Ok, so I get it.  Moving on, her first "junior high social" (aka dance) is Tuesday, and if it were up to her, she would go without taking a shower or brushing her hair; she'd wear an Auburn t-shirt and blue jean shorts and her Keens.  And probably a baseball hat. 

You know, I'm really not ok with this. 

I mean, if she wants to wear this every other day of the summer, fine.  (Well, except that not-bathing and not-brushing the hair part.) 

But I really think she should have something cute pretty nice cool to wear.  I don't expect her to be the best dressed there.  I don't expect her to be all girly and want to paint her nails or wear makeup or roll her hair before she goes.  But I don't want her to be a target for riducule either. 

I wanted to put a survey on here to get your wise counsel on this issue but I think you are just going to have to leave a comment.  Seriously.  HELP ME. 

Do I:
1.  Take her shopping and help her pick out something?  (Just go ahead and don't pick this one because she will NOT pick anything out but snarl at everything except football jerseys and Auburn gear.)
2.  Take her shopping and pick out a few outfits and have her pick one?  (Well, she'll just dig in and say NONE.  She'll snarl at this too.)
3.  Leave her at home and just get something for her to wear and tell her she HAS to?
4.  Just let her go in her crappy clothes and just save the clothes money for the therapy she'll need later?
5.  Insert your opinion here. 

I don't mean to make her sound difficult.  On the contrary, she is most pleasant and a very sweet, loving, helpful girl.  I've very proud of her.  She is smart, athletic, funny, and such a servant.  It's just this ONE issue that makes me want to put my head under a pillow for the next 6 or so years. 

Some have suggested that she just doesn't know "how" to pick clothes and needs guidance.  Likely.  But she also couldn't care less.  I'm thankful for a precious daughter who is comfortable in her skin and is secure in who she is.  But I want her to know there is a time for everything under the sun… including a time to dress like your age and gender. 

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6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

If everyone else is dressing up, then I would go and pick something as casual as you can get away with in a color that she likes.
Honestly, I think that she may *think* she wants to wear her ol’ Auburn tee and some shorts, but the minute she feels out of place, I think she would be horrified?
Maybe she doesn’t want to get dressed up because she doesn’t want all that attention…but maybe if you explain to her that she WILL end up drawing attention the other way…..? I dunno.
She is such a good girl and this is such a hard age.

Comment by Gayle

Could you have some of her friends go shopping with you. Peer Pressure works great in this instance. I know my girls like it when their friends help them get clothes.

Comment by Jennifer

Yikes, this is a toughy for me to help with because I was THAT child! I was a tomboy from the beginning of time. I still am in NO way fru-fru. No make up, no frilly clothes, and not much pink.

Now, let me think here about what you should do. Half of me thinks you should let her pick out her own clothes and just be herself . And then there’s the take her shopping for something conservatively cute (where you buy that I have NO idea–Target??). Perhaps a cute denim skort with a solid colored shirt?! And what about some solid flip flops from Old Navy?

Best of luck and please post an update to this.

Comment by Tammy

I have one who is the same way. She’s gotten a lot better lately. I think she finally understands that she’s at an age where she needs to pay more attention to what she’s wearing. She still is not girlie, but she has come a long way. I don’t know if having a mom to daughter discussion about that would help. (I’m sure you’ve probably gone there with her already.) I had to “force” the issue at first and although it wasn’t pleasant she has come around. If you need my girl to come along, I know she would…

Comment by Lori

What about a blue skirt and an orange shirt? That way, she’ll still be sporting Auburn colors. 🙂
Seriously, I think you’re wise in your comment about a time for everything. Let her dress in her shorts and t-shirts on other occasions, but encourage her to dress up a bit for the dance. Perhaps she’ll enjoy the compliments she’s certain to receive, and then she’ll be more excited about it next time.

Comment by penny

This is so hard–the choose your battle–does it really matter thing?? I have a tomboy myself and she balks sometimes at what I choose–it was so hard to give up hairbows( before Mom was ready!!! ) I like there is a time for everything and sometimes you dress for the occassion rather than for comfort!! Some people have to do it everyday for work. I know she isn’t the type that wants the attention, but if she was dressed too casual she would get MORE attention. Good Luck!!

Comment by kent




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