Reformed Grits

“I can’t get no…”
July 20, 2008, 3:13 pm
Filed under: Faith, Family, Life

I have a new past-time that entertains me on nights when my beloved is out and away, whether at school or at a friend’s enjoying his favorite past-time

I go to a website for a familiar seminary, and go to the “jobs posted” page where there are hundreds of open ministerial positions posted.  Some are for Senior Pastors, some are for Assistant Pastors.  Some for Youth Pastors; some for Worship Leaders.  Listings for Ministerial Administrative.  And so on, and so forth.  I look over the listings and where they are… and I wonder. 

I wonder where we will be.  I wonder what we will be doing.  I wonder if we will be far from home.  I wonder if we will love it– or hate it.  I think about what our home will be like there. 

Which leads me to the next thing I do.  I open a new window on my computer and go to a realty website and type in the zip code of a job that sounds “interesting” and I see what houses we could afford there.  It’s been very… enlightening.  Some places I get really excited about, and some make me cringe and think it would never happen.  (Those will be the ones God leads us to, I’m sure.  He’s funny that way with me.) 

Last night, I “found” a job in an area of Texas that was near a large city and VERY close to the Gulf (because I LOVE the beach.)  They had a classical Christian school, which was a HUGE plus.  I looked up and houses that were significantly within our price range were considerably larger than the house we are in now– and have pools, and yards that don’t need napalm, and playrooms in addition to 5 bedrooms and “Texas basements” (a storage attic, LOL). 

And I began to get ready to move. 

One problem.  We are still about 2 years out from finishing school (I say “we” like a man who says “we” about having a baby) and then another year for ordination.  Three years.  Did I mention “we” have been in school for 6 years already?  That means we are only 2/3 of the way there.  Lately my beloved has been talking more and more about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  (Our pastor would say, “And I don’t think it’s a train!”)  I want to be expectant, but I’m having a hard time being patient.  I know that this “adventure” could take us anywhere and we could be doing anything.  My personality makes me see all this as “an adventure.”  Adventures, I have learned however, aren’t always what they are cracked up to be. 

At the beginning of the summer, we were wanting to get away for a long weekend.  I love to fly– that’s how I feel like I’m REALLY getting away!– and so in planning I decided to find the cheapest flight to anywhere and that’s where we’d get away to.  Turns out, that place was New Orleans.  It was exciting to look forward to it and plan.  We’d romanticize and dream about what this adventure would bring us.  We had every expectation of sipping cold drinks as we sat and leisurely and chatted at restaurants that would bring us plate after plate of everything we could stand to eat.  We’d go to movies; eat dessert; sleep in; stay out late.  And relax. 

Now I am definitely not complaining about our trip– it was a lot of fun and we enjoyed getting away together.   But let me tell you, it was HOT.  And we walked 95% of the time everywhere we went.  And for whatever reason, I felt exhausted and wanted to fall in bed by 9 PM into a deep, dark slumber.  And I had no appetite.  And like I mentioned earlier, I never found ice cream the whole time I was there outside of an Arby’s Jamocha Shake.  And the people there made me sad– from the beggars, the homeless, the gamblers, and those that were taken advantage of.  It wasn’t like I thought it was going to be.  It was hard.  And hot.  And… different

Going away– whether for the night with your husband or indefinitely with your family– in search of a respite from life through the adventure of just going, is really not satisfying.  Well, that is to say it’s not satisfying if you aren’t already satisfied where you are.   When will I learn that?  Years ago at a Bible study Caroline and I went to, the author of the study said that when you set something in front of you and say, “THIS will make me happy” whether it’s a certain car, achieving a certain financial status, time away, food, or whatever… when you set something in front of you as that which will bring happiness or joy, you make it more important that God in your life; in actuality, you are idolizing it.  I hope that scares you as much as it scares me!  I don’t want to waste worship on anything that is not worthy! 

My reaction to this is to attempt to be satisfied.  And for me, that requires patience.  The grass truly isn’t greener than the grass under my feet.   As a sheep, I can be sure of this.  Because my Shepherd has led me to the greenest of pastures.  What could be more satisfying than this? 


6 Comments so far
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Comment by Leslie

You know, waiting for the unknown is so hard, no matter what it’s for. I’m feeling your pain. Texas really is too far in the wrong direction, though.

Comment by Meg

Ah…what a great post. I’ll explain why more on my blog, later this week. (Stay tuned!) Thank you for sharing. As our sweet friend Hester says, “We are living in green pastures right now!”
Elizabeth George says,”We don’t need to know the future, because we KNOW our God. And we know that His plan for us is always good!” (Jer. 29:11) Okay, so I completely paraphrased both of those quotes, don’t tell anyone!

Comment by penny

I learned at a young age that “the grass is not greener”
I am usually too content with where I am~to the extent that I never want to go over to the other side~even when I am supposed to!
Life can be hard even when all is “good”…I guess it goes along with living in a fallen world.

Comment by Andrea

WOW!!! Needed that one!

Comment by katester

I’m praying that ECS will have a pastoral opening so ya’ll can stay put!!

Comment by distybug

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