Reformed Grits


Testing, testing… Is this thing on?
August 21, 2009, 3:20 am
Filed under: Faith, Family, Our Call, Uncategorized

Ok, well tonight I’m sitting in my bed with a bowl of cookie dough that I made for the express purpose of eating.  Not for making cookies, I mean, but just eating.

I have not blogged in MONTHS.  NO one looks here anymore or reads here anymore and that’s ok… because it’s still here and I can come visit it when I like and all my memories are here.

I recently came across a childhood friend (Hi Amy!!) who asked me about our call to ministry and I referred her here which is much better than trying to tell it again.  And you know what?  When I came to look for it, I read it.  And I wanted to cry.  Do you know why?  Because one year from now we could be any where.  On the planet.  I’m totally serious.  My beloved will, God willing, graduate in May and I seriously have told him to brace himself because I’m throwing a GIANT party.  Totally not kidding.

So then what?  We will do what a wise woman once said:  Do the next thing.  And for us, that means working towards ordination which he hopes will be accomplished by the end of the summer.   He *can* start at a church while he’s working toward ordination, which means that anytime after May’s graduation he could get a job in a pastoral position at a church.  Anywhere.  And no kidding, we have been ready since day one of our call to “go.”  If you will recall we are committed to be “preparing to go; but willing to stay.”  Funny, but we really are preparing so much to go, I’m not sure at all that we are willing to stay.   It kills me to think of my kids not graduating from this precious, wonderful school we have totally invested our guts in from before the first day it opened.   Of asking what will be my 10th grader to leave the only school he’s ever known and go who knows where?  But it occurred to me today… I am going to have to let go of the notion that the possibility of that change for all of them (I will have 5 in school and Bee will be in 4k!  Hard to believe!) will be tragic.  If God has a plan for us, He has a plan for ALL of us as a family.  One of the best things that ever happened to me was when the school I had gone to for 7 years closed down.  I was “forced” out of my comfort zone and I would not change it for the world.

Other things going on in Gritsville… The only child in the WHOLE family doing an activity is JD who will be doing drama again this year.  Wow.  It’s good, only because I have hit the wall and that hurts.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

What else?  Oh!  I’m having more migraines than ever and started having unexplained anxiety and panic attacks in April!  That’s been fun.  I’m so drugged up now that I cry every day and actually hug people.  I hugged at LEAST 2 people today.   Wait, 3 for sure.  It’s weird.

I’m trying the Exodus 14:14 method of parenting one of my children.  I will not be asking them about homework or assignments or checking behind them.  I will not even be watching their grades online.  AT ALL.  If they fail, they will repeat the grade but they are capable of achieving.  But I’m at the point where I don’t want them to be “doing school” reactionary to what mom’s gonna do; I want them to look forward to not failing and repeating a grade.   Everytime I fret and fritter over how they will do, it’s a call to prayer.  Only God can change a heart.  This I know.  It’s actually a bit liberating.  Maybe that will be one thing I can cross off my “I haven’t cried about this today” list.  That list is already full.

Ok, so there it is.  The update since, what, January?  Pathetic.  I’ve missed writing; so I will write when I can.  I need to telll stories.  I need to vent.  I need to wordsmith a bit.  It’s an outlet.  If you read, I appreciate you and hope you enjoy.  I love comments because I’m pretty self-centered and like to be petted that way; but God is rearranging me bigtime.  I’m seeing HIM and His “bigness” everywhere.  I’m done pushing; I’m done striving.

By the way, Exodus 14:14 says, “The LORD will fight for you, and you will be silent.”  Don’t you love a hero?  He’s my hero.   He’s going to save the day, and all will be well.  And He loves me.  What more could a girl want?

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5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Welcome back, Kim! I’m a fan. 🙂

Comment by Allison

Great blog! I’m glad to see you back! I love your last paragraph. It is so sweet to be able to rest in His arms and know He is in total control.

Comment by Andria

Welcome back! We’ve missed you!

You’re braver than I – there’s nothing scarier in the world to me than the thought of moving.

(shudder)

Comment by Rachel @ Grasping for Objectivity in my Subjective Life

Yea!!! You’re back. Today is the 1st day I have read blogs in 2 months…since i got a fb page.
hang in there with Ex. 14:14!! it will be fine. You may be surprised at how much they start caring cause you aren’t doing it for them…it kinda scares them a little.

Comment by Kent

Yay..love it…especially the hugging part…too funny!
Love the verse too..may have to make it one of my memory verses…easy to remember but oh so full of wisdom! 🙂

Comment by Andrea




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