Reformed Grits

Uncharted territory
January 9, 2009, 6:37 pm
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Everyone that knows me that reads here and those that may not know me in real life but read here know I’m pretty much an open book. I’ll embarrass myself 45 times over just to make you laugh, usually. I’ll tell stuff about myself with no boundaries without a second though. My poor sweet husband tries his hardest to get me to have some boundaries and reserve some dignity.
And it’s not just to make you laugh. I’ll tell you my struggles and my thoughts, no matter how disturbing just to have you as a sounding board. To gain your perspective.
I also occasionally vent. I know I can blow steam and not be judged, or if I am, I don’t know about it and that’s ok.

So I find myself in a place I’m not comfortable with… because not only can I not share every detail with you this because of a number of reasons… but for the first time since 1999 Jojo will not be playing soccer from now on. What I can tell you is that the idea of no soccer in my days is killing me. I love soccer. I love watching my SON play soccer. I love riding in the car with him to practice, games, and out of town tournaments and games. Soccer has been all-consuming for us since the child was 4. Our lives and vacations and finances have been figured around soccer. This was a sacrifice and a decision we made willingly– it was worth it. And we loved it.
Now, the families we have grown to love will become stranger; the kids we’ve watched grow will grow into adults we don’t recognize; the jersey will never be replaced and he’ll never have to get the next sized shin guards or cleats.
I’m absolutely lost.

And what’s worse, is that I totally get it that NO ONE understands that I’m absolutely heartbroken. And that’s ok.
When you can’t talk to anyone else, it sure makes you depend on the Lord more and it’s a really good time to do that.